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Irony, you fickle bitch.

It would seem only natural that the one time I start to believe in this team, the one time I allow my hope to start to come out of hiding, the moment I declare that an 8-0 start to the year is a distinct possibility, the Bengals would then proceed to play 11 15 quarters of some of the worst football I’ve ever seen. I suppose I have only myself to blame. You would think I would have figured it out by now, after a decade of dashed hopes and downtrodden devotion, but alas I still have the same lesson to learn, just in a different way.

This would be the point in my posts of the past where I would trot out the rushing board and point out how our opponents running backs are racking up yards as if the defense wasn’t there. That was certainly the case against the “I-don’t-think-you-can-make-the-case-they-are-among-the-elite-of-the-league” Patriots where Laurence Maroney had an average of 8.3 yards per rush, netting himself 125 yards on just 15 attempts. For once however, it isn’t the defense that needs to be ragged upon. Now it is not the defense that is failing alone, but the offense has grown sick as well.

Most notably is the poor pass protection of the offensive line. Palmer is being haggled and harassed almost every time he drops back it seems, and that is affecting the entire offense. I think this is the primary cause for Chad Johnson’s disappearance from the scoreboard and stat sheet. C.J. doesn’t have time to run deep routes when Palmer has to get the ball out quickly because the QB has defensive linemen in his face.

Now, rather than Chad being the first read on passing situations, it seems to me that T.J. Houshmandzadeh is now Palmer’s #1 receiver. Whereas Chad has more total yards for the year (451 vs. 422), both he and T.J. have an equal number of receptions (36), but T.J. has twice as many touchdowns (4 vs. 2). I think the tide has shifted toward Housh, but I’m not sure that’s a good thing.

For seven weeks, the Bengals had no swagger. There was no Chad Johnson on the microphone explaining how many touchdowns he planned to get that week, or which corner back he was calling out. Last week that all changed, finally, but it didn’t matter as the o-line couldn’t give Palmer time, and the defense was unable to stop a now deadly passing Michael Vick.

The Bengals are in real trouble. The defense is still having problems stopping opponents, and now the offense is starting to sputter. We’re 4-3 right now, and there are four other teams in the AFC at 4-4 or better who aren’t leading (or tied in) their division. That’s five teams competing for only two Wild Cards.

I am worried.

We played terrible. Do I really need to say more than that?

Our defense, once again, had trouble stopping the run. Willie Parker amassed 133 yards on 31 carries for an average of 4.3 yards per rush. If someone manages to get over three yards per carry that isn’t particularly good. Over four? Inexcusable.

I’m not encouraged by the way our defense has played, and I’m even less encouraged that they’re going to get better. With Pollack out for the year with a broken neck, and now Thurman out just as long with a broken brain, those are two missing puzzle pieces we needed.

I was very happy with the way Pollack was starting to come along towards the end of last ear. I’m afraid his injury will set him back. We’ll see in 2007 it would seem.

Thurman on the other hand…what is there to say? Stupidity rules the year for him. I’ll be shocked if he is back with the team next year.

Luckily for us on Sunday however, we didn’t need either of their services. We could have used them, but we were able to overcome them. We owe a debt of gratitude to a certain Steelers quarterback, one B. Roethlisberger.

What happens when your caretaker quarterback can’t take care of the ball? More often than not, you lose. Do I really need to go over the win/loss records of teams that come out on the short end of the turnover battle in a game?

And yes, all you Steelers fans who are already typing furiously comments to this post, Roethlisberger is a caretaker quarterback. His primary role is to not screw it up for the rest of the team. The run still dominates the Steelers offense, and a gifted passing talent isn’t needed, or possibly even wanted, at QB. A high-scoring, wide open offense is not the Pittsburgh way.

Yes, he does have an damned impressive record as the starter. Not to mention the fact that he can put a Super Bowl ring on his finger, despite his incredibly poor performance on Super Sunday. That does not change what his role is for the Steelers.

His mistakes, more than any other player, lead to the Bengals victory on Sunday. Once again our defense was able to create the mistakes we needed to win. I am happy that we won, but troubled by how we did it. I don’t like winning by turnovers.

As we all know, when a has a negative turnover ratio way more often than not they lose the game. There should be no argument when I say then, that good teams do not turn the ball over. If you want to beat a good team, sooner or later you’re going to have to stop relying on the strip or the pick, and just flat out prevent them from doing what they want to do with the football.

We haven’t beaten a good team yet. The Steelers may be a good team by the time we see them again New Years Eve. Right now however, with a 1-2 record and having played very, very poorly the past two weeks, no one can seriously argue Pittsburgh is one of the elite teams in the NFL. Not at this point in the season.

So I’m left to wonder how we’re going to do against the better teams in the NFL. At this point, after how the Patriots have played so far in 2006, I don’t think you can make the case they are among the elite of the league. I know all of the football pundits love to slurp The Golden Boy, but I’ve left my handkerchief in my other coat.

Looking at our schedule, we may not face a quality team until Baltimore on November 5. New England was the first team we faced with a winning record, and until we face the Falcons on October 29, none of the clubs on our schedule can boast the same. That’s not encouraging when you’re trying to gauge your team.

I think we can beat the Falcons, so we could very well be 8-0 when we go to Baltimore. If they are as for real as their 3-0 record suggests, we could be in for a contest.

The waiting truly is the hardest part.

I’ve never been a real big fan of Week 1 in the NFL. Don’t get me wrong, I’m ecstatic that football has returned. It’s just that, well, it’s so damn hard to figure out anything after just one week’s worth of games.

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. In Week 1 the diamonds are still buried deep in the rough and the turds still have a hint of shine on them. Everyone who doesn’t root for Green Bay still has hope after Week 1, regardless of how well their team did. Analysts are able to spin any outcome, regardless of how lopsided it was, as a big win or just a simple fluke. No matter what anyone says, after Week 1 none of us know anything.

This lack of knowledge isn’t going to stop me from running my mouth off, however.

I must admit that I am encouraged by the run defense put up by Cincinnati at Arrowhead. Loyal readers know this was my primary problem with the 2005 Bengals team, and now, maybe, just maybe, we’re starting to see a defense that can help take this team somewhere. They certainly showed some life in Week 1.

I say the following knowing full well that I am spitting in the eye of karma. Fates bedamned, I’m about to say something stupid. Please don’t blame me if we go 1-15 this year.

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The Cincinnati Bengals are a legitimate Super Bowl threat.

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No, I’m not kidding. This Bengals team is one of the handful of teams that in 2006 have a serious chance of winning the Super Bowl. This team is that good.

However, before any of us can begin booking airfare for Miami there are two questions this team as to answer for all of us. The first, and most obvious, is that Carson Palmer must be healthy and able to play at the same level he did last year.

Duh.

The second problem is what I ranted and raved about last year. We need a defense. It doesn’t have to be the caliber of the Ravens circa 2000 (or 2006 if what they did against Tampa Bay holds true, see above RE: Week 1), but it needs to be able to stop people and not force the offense to put 40+ on the board every week. We get a defense that can do that, paired with an offense capable of laying 35 or more on another team as if it’s an afterthought, and there won’t be many teams, if any, that can compete.

Who would have thought we’d be saying that five years ago?

So after Week 1 I’m encouraged, but I’m guarding against my hope. You never know when another Kimo is going to come lumbering across the line like a wounded walrus.

Speaking of injured quarterbacks…

Trent Green. Damn. That was a shot.

Was it a cheap shot? No, I don’t think it was cheap. Was it a penalty, however?

Maybe the NFL is right, and the hit wasn’t a penalty. Geathers couldn’t stop himself, and was pushed from behind by a Chief player. That’s probably true.

Still though, when a quarterback slides feet-first, giving himself up, he is untouchable. That is an unalterable rule of football. Failure to follow it leads to what we saw happen to Trent Green on Sunday.

A flag should have been thrown.